


a planet, a star, the universe

by linoleumfloor



Category: Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, One sided, Other, fun fact: kamui was supposed to have the hots for kaze but i changed it lmao, if i wasnt trying to make it a badly written angst fic this would have been an ot3, im still in love with these two though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 03:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8041132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linoleumfloor/pseuds/linoleumfloor
Summary: You would always love Silas, but you could never love Kamui the way she wanted.





	a planet, a star, the universe

He loved her like she was the most precious gem in the earth. He looked at her with longing, affection, and regret.

Silas was so invested in Kamui's cause, but more in love with Kamui herself. Lingering touches, warm smiles that felt like the sun if he ever graced someone with it. He followed her anywhere, his loyalty almost enough to rival her butler's own oath to protect and serve her as long as he lives.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to say that, while they were best friends, spending so much time with her led him to develop such intimate feelings. He wanted to tell her he was so in love with her that it made him want to die for not getting it off his chest sooner. It was a weight on his heart, not being able to confess. Regardless of Kamui's decisions, Silas would wholeheartedly jump to her aid without missing a beat.

You knew how it felt to be in such a circumstance. 

You may not have been a royal retainer, but god damn where you a knight. You fought for the ones not able to fight for themselves, for the ones who have given up on living, for the ones who lose hope. A knight for the common people, a retainer for the broken, scared, and tired civilians, for the broken, scared, and dying fighters.

You were there for the people who needed your help, and you were willing to give your life for them so long as they try to keep on living. If you couldn't see past this war, then perhaps someone else could have that luxury.

He was a soldier, a cavalier. He fought for the one he loved, though in this case the one he is still madly in love with. You both had common interests, to live and defend the army and the people, but most of all to make sure that people you both cared deeply about could stay alive.

It just so happened that you had the unfortunate luck to fall for a soldier who only had eyes for the princess. And he had the unfortunate luck to fall for a princess who told him she loved a soldier in her army, "Who's braver than my older siblings, who fights not just for me, but for the kingdom and all the ones who inhabit it."

It was a circle of misfortunes and unrequited whispers of complete adoration. 

You could have been there for him, comforted him in any of his times of heartbreak. _'He could have fallen for me,'_ you would think. _'We could have been something instead of just comrades.'_

He could have loved you, but it would be faker than the aspiration he had of Lady Kamui looking his way and finally running into his arms. It was a dream, a thought. He would only love your support, the words you gave him to make him strong. He would still love her, not you. You had heard stories of tattered relationships that began because one or both of them had been in deep heartbreak. They never lasted longer than a few months. And even if they had, those people only clung onto the small shocks from the beginning, drinking in every last bit of power-giving words and short-lasting promises that were supposed to be kept until the end of their lives had lulled them into the safest false security.

But it only made sense. They were the only friends they had as children, the only source of communication aside from with family and castle staff. They had each other for the longest time, then one slip-up and he had to go. But he never forgot her, no, she was the only reason he had been here today.

He was hers the moment he realized he had a friend for the first time in his life.

You were admittedly selfish, but you still had limits. You weren't able to tell him, to voice aching feelings. You could live with being less than a second option, hell even not an option at all. You could live without him, you could always love someone else. But you didn't want to see him hurting. 

Loving him was sickeningly sweet. It was the epitome of the phrase "every rose has its thorns." People could fall in love with his unwavering loyalty, his strong drive to keep  her safe. He had altruistic intentions. He helped fellow soldiers figure out whether they should stay and fight for the dead, or go home and mourn them, being sick of the battles. He wasnt perfect, by gods, he wasn't. He could be blunt like an old sword but he still had good intentions. He always kept trying.

But she wasn't ever his. Maybe all those years ago she was his, back when they were children, back when they had each other as the best of friends because there was no one else for them. No, she could never become his, not now, not again if she had been to begin with.

You noticed, you kept seeing the lingering looks of hope she had when she talked to you or glanced your way. You had relatable feelings. Of course you would, but you thought of them as minor in comparison to yours. Your goal —no, source of life, a shining, astounding sun— would always be at arm's length, a stride away.

She loved you too much, loved you like the moon loved the earth. Sometimes she was like said moon. She would pop up by you all the time, but never staying long. She never got too close because she was scared.

It was still so close, closer than you could ever get before they moved away from your orbit, farther and farther. Being a planet so distant from your life--from your sun--so distant from the rest of them, it was so lonely and cold.

Kamui probably wondered why you wouldn't ever spare her a desperate glance, a look that showed her that maybe she'd finally have a chance to love someone she wanted, the way she wanted to.

Your loyalty and love had not wavered for Silas, it kept getting stronger and stronger. You would always fight for the princes and princesses, lay your life on the line for them. The only difference would be your reluctance to die for people who have so many soldiers already doing it for them. 

You would willingly die for him, but at the same time, you would willingly live only for him.

She had asked you to come over to her quarters one night, talking to you about various things, making small references to her rapidly growing crush. 

Soon you begin to really get into it, talking about who you loved, who you still love, who you could never stop loving. "You know, they've... always been so adamant at protecting everyone. All the people, all of our army. I admire their strength, ya' get it? They just... keep on going and going, and they don't care if I tell them they'll be killed on enemy lines. I worry, I'm so scared for them," she said. "I just wish they knew they meant a lot to me. I wish I could say I loved them, but they wouldn't understand, not fully."

You would always love Silas, but you could never love Kamui the way she wanted. 

"I am but a measly a sun who has the planets orbit me. I could get the attention and complete devotion and care from the planets; but I have my own small galaxy to live in while they could peer into each little world with no hesitation like they owned them. They don't know how amazing they are," it was at that moment you truly realized the depths of her love for you.

She loved you the way you were so shamefully entranced with Silas.

You would tear your way through the various kingdoms and worlds for him. You would strike every enemy he would be unable to fight, and you would block every spirit and weapon aimed for his heart even if it meant they would pierce you a thousand times over. Kamui would try to do the same, try to keep up with all of the confusion of love, aches, and heartbreaks. She was a princess expected to rule over a kingdom, a soon-to-be queen. 

She would protect her people like you would protect the citizens of your kingdom, and she would watch your recklessness with agony, knowing she could never change your mind. She couldn't protect your life when you brutishly and stubbornly keep trying to save a man who only held the most platonic feelings for you, and she could never protect herself from the grief of never getting you to her. Indeed, your mind focused on things she wouldn't hope to change in this lifetime or the next.

And he would go through hell and high water, gods, he would walk this entire universe for her. He would follow her to the end of time as long as they both live. He thought that maybe, just maybe, if he could prove to Kamui that he was strong enough to help her take on the weight of stress and the world, she'll give him a chance. All he wanted was to finally be loved back by someone who understands him, loved by someone he's fought tooth and nail for just to see once more.

She never knew just how lucky she was to have someone so devoted to her in a way that they would keep on following her regardless of mistakes. He would keep on encouraging her, help her with every screw up. She was the sun, the moon, the stars.

There was no one else he'd go after. There was no one else he'd love as much as her. She was his, she was one of the most important people who influenced him to go this far in life. She was a universe, a better one than you would be. You weren't the mashing of solar systems with stars that were brighter than gleaming armour, the mixing of cool colors to create an entrancing galaxy.

She was _his_ universe, and you would help him get the universe to love him back even if it killed you.

**Author's Note:**

> i love fire emblem fates and i married silas first and tbh it's b/c i loved his hair at first.  
>    
>  but after seeing how ppl were talking abt how generic a character he is, i thought, "well u know, i can always write abt him. i can give him shitty character traits, try to make him human or smth."
> 
> this entire fic is a mess in terms of writing, plot, and love. like, kamui. she's so in love with you. she loves you so much and she can't wrap her head around why you're so insistent on devoting yourself to someone who's never going to love you back, but never stops to think about her own predicament because she's too caught up in everything. she's been introduced to the world, to families, to friends. she's a busy woman.
> 
> then silas. holy fuck. silas. i was planning on making kamui gender neutral as well but considering the fact that i tried to make reader more gender neutral,,, it would get confusing. but regardless of what gender kamui had been made, silas would love kamui more than breathing in oxygen. he's found her again, but he's not about to let go, not again. he's in too deep with her and he knows it but honey if you think he's gonna stop you're out of your mind.
> 
> and then there's reader. reader is just,,, i suppose you can say they're quite observant when it comes to feelings, but i feel like?? silas and kamui are sort of predictable and are shit at hiding feelings they're just too oblivious to romantic feelings unless outright told about them. but reader greatly admires silas' drive to join the army just for kamui. 
> 
> shit man i even had this backstory for reader where they only joined because of a similar situation of mozu. except?? reader just,,, they lost someone they loved a lot because he kept trying to protect them, then one by one childhood friends keep trying to stay together and make sure everyone's alright but he's gone. reader sees him die, they see the excruciating pain he's going through but he still manages to tell her to run and help everyone else.
> 
> reader fights for him, and silas reminds them of him, so it was only a matter of time. but reader just starts to realize that they love silas for more than his altruistic personality, but for his drive to help kamui, to help the army. reader loves that even though he's nice he can still be rude at times because he likes to speak the truth. 
> 
> this is getting too long. honestly i dont mind if anyone asks me to elaborate more on what the fuck is happening and the background of this writing.


End file.
